We’re all looking for peace of mind, and I’m looking for the pieces of me I left behind.
After a few days of thorough thinking (and some sulking), I’ve realized that I must learn to accept solitude as an indelible part of my life. I used to believe it was a teenage-related anomaly, and then a Tsukuba-related anomaly, but no. Circumstances have changed in every possible way, and it’s still here with me, following me like a stubborn stray dog. The truth is, I am a loner. I am Tsukuba, and all it encompasses.
Now that I know it, or now that I’m ready to come to terms with it, I ought to understand that my free time is not a waiting room. There is no use in hoping for a door to open and for someone to finally call my name. It should be a good thing, though, as awful as it sounds. It was so clear to me when I was a teenager, and there was so much I got done back then.
So let’s get stuff done. Nobody’s going to interrupt.
Categories
Prayer to the Busy
Please
Grant me the blessing
Of a thirty-second glance
Into your pixelated
Face—
And if it’s not
Too much to ask,
Honor me with a lie
And say
You miss me too.
Categories
Fragment (Memory)
I read things that make me feel stupid. I read things that crack the earth open and set me adrift. Once I was left alone with words for an ailment, but they are already withering. Memory is just an ugly vase full of old water. It holds the appearance of life, but not forever.