Se habla español

I was shown a fragment of a song in Spanish. It was supposed to be the most beautiful thing ever, something touching which should have moved my poor longing heart. However, I did not feel a thing. There was something about distance, too; not a single reaction from my soul. Why don’t I like Spanish as much as I like other languages? I was taught to speak this language since I was born. However, I can’t think of any elements that make it beautiful when I hear it, the way I do with English (it’s always flowing, like wind and water), French (it’s like whispering aloud), Japanese (there is always a sense of tenderness in it), or even Chinese, which I don’t speak yet (it feels like singing all the time).

Spanish is, to me, a neutral yet malleable language. One to play with, like a toy, like building blocks. Acrónimos proves it. There is a lot I think I can do with Spanish, but nothing makes it sound special to me. Maybe funny, maybe clever, but not beautiful. Perhaps that’s why I don’t really appreciate that which is originally written in Spanish. If it’s correctly written, if it follows every rule, it’s fine with me.

Okay, I’m lying. Spanish is a language with an extremely broad vocabulary. The amount of funny expressions one can find in my native language is immense. I used to write a lot of stories in Spanish, looking for the right words just as a kid would look for the right piece of Lego to complete his monster truck. A person who speaks Spanish correctly is such a treasure for me… a delight to hear… but I feel no music in it. And all the lyrics from all those songs which melt people’s hearts… I feel them so hollow… so cliché

I need some sleep now. I’ll keep thinking about this issue, for I don’t hate all music in Spanish. Just… most of it.

J’ai peur de la langue française.

J’ai peur de la langue française.

J’ai peur de la langue française.

J’ai peur de la langue française.

J’ai peur de la langue française.

J’ai peur de la langue française.

Vertical 2

They said I should go out.

And so I did.

Sunshine at last!

My legs were moving.

My blood was flowing.

I heard my voice.

I laughed.

I wished you were here.

I always wish you were here.

You will be here, right?

Just wait a second.

Time is faster than we think.

I will be there.

We will be somewhere.

Together.

Our hands will clasp.

Our eyes will meet.

I’ll hear your voice.

They said I should go out.

I’ll take you out with me.

Just wait a second.

Vertical 1

I have two flags right there.

Right there, on my binary showcase.

One says where I was born.

The other, where I live.

Both of them are the same.

Treasures, skies and seas, and blood.

I wanted to change one into the Rising Sun.

Variety seemed fashionable.

A flag so unique seemed fashionable.

Showing off this love seemed fashionable.

But then I thought it was a really stupid idea.

I’m not there.

I wish I were there.

My heart is there.

My heart is with him.

Maybe his heart is here too.

Our hearts are mingled.

I won’t be there until my body is there.

I can’t pretend that I’m all shiny there when I’m really here.

Speaking the language is not being there.

Eating the food is not being there either.

And I wasn’t born there.

I wish I were, but I wasn’t.

I can’t deny my nationality.

My unvisable nationality.

I am what I am.

Flags will change when life does change.

Otherwise, I’m just a poseur.

And then I type again, co.