My mind has been feeling a little bit eroded lately, language-wise. A smooth, sandblasted brain. I’ve been unconsciously sneaking Japanese grammar structures into my English sentences, and don’t get me started on the way my mind seems to drift off mid-sentence, because there are holes where entire phrases used to be. Sometimes I’m looking for a word in either Spanish or English, and my mind serves me a smorgasbord of possibilities in Japanese, French, German… everything save the language I actually need. So this is day 1 of me writing every day to try to save my mind from utter obliteration.
I wonder how I survived in Japan with absolutely no one to talk to. Well, social media was not as pervasive back then, and I still had to go to school and participate in class, which counts as talking. Oh my god, is this what they call brain rot? I definitely feel an unusual sluggishness when trying to respond during conversation. Have I brought this upon myself due to overconsumption of social media? Is there such a thing as a healthy dose of social media, anyway? I’ve already written about this, and the answer is no. Not for me, at least. There must be a way to make it more educational, though, like following accounts in my weaker languages only. Ha! That’s where I’m one step ahead of you, says social media. I’ll make it impossible for you to see only the things you follow. I’ll make you crave more novelty, and forget about your original noble (albeit very naïve) intent.
My weakened language production skills have brought about an unhealthy habit of second-guessing every word I say. Is this idiom correct? Is this sentence structure correct? My mind is negating decades of written and oral communication in my two main languages. Meanwhile, my third language is neither regressing nor thriving. Ha, what a fancy way to say I’m stuck.
So, to make the jump from whining to action, in addition to these writing exercises, I’m ramping up my water intake because hydration is also vital for optimal brain function. Nothing can come out of a shriveled up brain.
(I also need to talk to actual people on a regular basis, but life in this century is making that particular endeavor especially hard.)