Author: Olavia Kite

Why yes, I do have New Year Resolutions! It’s just that they came into my mind a little late. Are you curious and idle enough to go through them? Well, here you go:

In the year 2005, I will:

1. Exercise.
2. Get rid of my old clothes
1. And buy new ones
   
3. Stop spending so much money on food
1. Especially from Crepes & Waffles
2. And with the sole exception of Japanese food, or something equally exotic and tasty
4. Plant flowers in the front yard
5. Spend less time in front of the computer
1. And more time reading, or cooking, or embroidering, or gardening
6. Read more books of my own choice
1. Eat up the whole Asian Literature section in the library
2. Ignore the fact that I hate reading when imposed

And that’s it. It’s somehow ambitious, but I hope to stick to this list and fulfill it.

And then again, there’s me. Just me. Gloomy me, lonely me, bored and boring me.

How inappropriate! This year says hello with a goodbye. I spend most of my time waiting for this precious little moment, and suddenly, wham! It’s gone. Right when I’ve already gotten used (again) to the smoothness of his cheeks, to his beautiful laughter, to his soft voice, I must become familiar (again!) with the long, wintery absence.

It’s funny how life seems to go on in such a way that everything seems to move fast while I stand still, a flesh and bone statue amidst the lively city. All the processes which are performed during The Absence seem never to have happened when It is over. But just as one is getting comfortable without it, The Absence starts again. It’s like those hotter days in the late summer, short spaces of glad warmth which precede the almost everlasting nights of snow and aching bones.

Happiness is such an ephemeral thing! It’s the single flap of a butterfly’s wing, hopefully repeated over, and over, and over again.

My grandparents’ absence from Bogota has changed more aspects of my life than I ever thought. Not only have I become familiar with La Dorada and family gatherings have become more meaningful, but the meaning of Christmas has changed completely. Without my grandparents, novenas are accessory, meaningless, an excuse to gather your neighbors and/or drink. Christmas music is driving me crazy, the same three songs over and over and over, everywhere.

I’m quite sure I’m not getting presents aside from my parents’ and Minori’s. It doesn’t matter, though; sometimes I wish Christmas didn’t involve presents, just gatherings and food. Maybe Christmas is just an excuse… an excuse to get people together. However, La Dorada has been our excuse to visit my grandparents more often. Maybe that’s way Christmas doesn’t seem too important to me this year.