When you discover that you’re powerless against fate—
Or rather, against somebody who never affixed the word ‘forever’ to your name.
Author: Olavia Kite
Perhaps I wasn’t meant to settle for やってみよう.
There comes a time when you must say goodbye—even if only temporarily—to a human being with whom you discovered goodbye was not an option. Since you cannot do much about fate (for the time being), you have no choice but to follow this person down to the very end of your road together, kiss your last kiss, then turn around and walk back to normalcy (i.e., the way things were before they appeared in your life). You gulp down the tears and let them harden like amber. Even if you’ve never suffered from an embolism or kidney stones, you must be able to picture how painful it must be to have a foreign object stuck inside you, impeding the free flow of whatever it was that made it comfortable for you to live alone. This crazy pebble is full of memories and hopes for the future making of new memories. It hurts, but in a way you’re glad it hurts. It’s life at its fullest. Love.
One day this long trip will come to an end, and I will no longer be of your interest. Your morbid curiosity for a girl who lost her mind on the other side of the planet will recede, and you will slowly get up from your chairs and leave the theater. Look at her. She lives where we live, she eats what we eat, her heart is perpetually broken—what good is she now that all-too-common body is surrounded by Roman letters?
I once escorted a friend of mine to dinner with some friends of his. It was a rather uneventful gathering, except that for the duration of the meal I was invisible to them. At some point they introduced me to a newcomer as a nameless being, undeserving of recognition as a human—until my friend mentioned my current whereabouts. As he (not I) pronounced the two magic syllables, I sprung to life from thin air before their eyes. That’s how I understood I represent nothing but shock value to most of the people I meet. Once it’s gone, I’ll be gone as well.
It should be okay, I guess. Le monde sans moi, c’est la même chose.