Getting a new job at an office makes me feel like I’ve failed at chasing my dreams of Academia glory. However, they say there is no such thing, so I might as well stick to reality. Still, I adapted so poorly to my last two jobs (i.e., got bored to the point of questioning my own existence) that I’m anxious as to what the next chunks of life in front of a desk that is not my own will bring in terms of mental health and satisfaction. I don’t remember ever feeling this lost, but then again, memory does not hold a lot of storage space for feelings. I’m trying to build a world here, but the atmosphere is so murky. I just hope I’m not treading in a tar pit, unknowingly sinking, heading nowhere but into the sticky blackness.
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