Sometimes I wish—a little too fervently, perhaps—that I could bookmark all the great insights I’ve stumbled upon in my life. I wish I could track down the exact point of inception of a positive change. A new habit adopted. Some random post on social media that got me thinking.
No one has confirmed this, but I believe this is actually a manifestation of some form of anxiety. There is no such thing as this much control over one’s life. I know that. And yet, there’s this part of me that craves it.
The worst part of this is knowing how fleeting change can be. You can always fall back into bad habits. In fact, you’re almost guaranteed to do so, because life will always be throwing punches at you, challenging you in ways you didn’t expect.
However, not all is lost. Even when you feel slipping back into your old ways, something sticks from your attempt at improving, even if only a little discomfort. You’re actually not the same as before—you cannot bear to be. You will try again.
So there is no single point of inception, I guess, but rather a series of small incremental ones, until at long last the desired change sticks for good.
I’m looking forward to that outcome. Obsessing over points of inception makes no sense without the outcome. The origin of nothing means nothing.
Here’s to the future—one where I’m proud of the discipline I’ve built. Let’s call this post the point of inception.