{"id":303,"date":"2006-06-21T10:41:00","date_gmt":"2006-06-21T10:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/2006\/06\/21\/mind-games\/"},"modified":"2006-06-21T10:41:00","modified_gmt":"2006-06-21T10:41:00","slug":"mind-games","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/2006\/06\/21\/mind-games\/","title":{"rendered":"Mind Games"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In my head, Japanese language flows endlessly. Sentences keep appearing, one after the other, conveying my thoughts and feelings, maybe not properly, but in an acceptable manner. In my head, I am able to speak to the best student in the class about things that do not sound like reruns of lessons. This person then doesn&#8217;t have to wonder why I run away, and I am not hoping to somehow explain it is all because I&#8217;m ashamed of my vanishing abilities (yes, I <span style=\"font-style: italic\">used<\/span> to be able to speak). I can state my point of view in class and there is no need for the teacher to translate my blabber into proper Japanese.<\/p>\n<p>However, whenever it&#8217;s time for words to flow out of my brain, they get stuck in my throat, forming a huge ball that chokes me and stings my tongue into numbness. Will the knot ever be untied? I hate this constant feeling of helplessness towards something as important as communication. Where will the courage come from, if it ever does?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In my head, Japanese language flows endlessly. Sentences keep appearing, one after the other, conveying my thoughts and feelings, maybe not properly, but in an acceptable manner. In my head, I am able to speak to the best student in the class about things that do not sound like reruns of lessons. This person then [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/303"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/303\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/olaviakite.com\/maianebula\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}